John Michael Hileman

Pain in child "rearing"

noreply@blogger.com (John Hileman) — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 02:35:00 +0000

Kids. Do you have them? If you don't, I highly suggest grabbing a couple.

I didn't want children, but I recognized the gleam in my wife's eye when she brought the topic up, some fourteen years ago. The unmistakable twinkle that said, “resistance is futile.” And, it was. I realized that there was no chance she would ever let this one go, and so a pact was made that day. I agreed to let her have children, and she agreed to raise them. There would be no changing of diapers for this guy! No sir. If she wanted kids, she would have to deal with all that junk.

Within the first week I had already changed ten dirty diapers and there was no end in sight! This kid was a factory. I've never seen anything eat so little and go so much. Anyway. I digress.

I didn't want children. I liked my freedom. I liked being the biggest child in the house-- although my wife would contend that I still am. I had plans for my life, and they didn't include: a filthy house, filthy diapers, constant screaming, ketchup on my new pants, and eventually car pooling. Do you know that I have held in my hands every gross thing that can come out of a human body? I have my children to thank for that! I was dooped! Bamboozled!! This was not the deal we had made that fateful day! She was going to take care of the baths, and the crying, and the chocolate in my dress shoes. We had a deal!

Besides the constant work, there is also the emotional trauma. Like the time we were in the drug store and my daughter tugged on my sleeve, pointed at the woman in front of us, and said, “Daddy, that lady is fat.” At this point, I had already survived years of being a father, and do to rigorous conditioning, I was able to think on my feet. I crouched down and said, “Honey, if you don't have something nice to say about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all.” My daughter silently pondered the words of her father, and the snickers from the eight customers loitering the cramped reception area slowly subsided. Roughly three minutes of awkward silence past, and there was another tug on my sleeve. My daughter looked up at me with her big innocent eyes and whispered-- what could only have been the resolution of the last three minutes of heavy contemplation-- “Daddy, that fat lady has nice shoes.”

As I look back on the last fourteen years of torture and reminisce about how I held down a full time job, a part time job, and pursued the dream of being an author, while serving my wife, my family, my church, and these crazy people my wife gave birth too, I have to ask myself a question: was it worth it? My answer would have to be a resounding, you betcha!

Raising kids is hard. Heck! Life in general is hard! But I would not be the man I am today, if not for my children. And I would not know the true depths of love, if it were not for them. They are my passion. They are my very heart.

When my son was born he would not stop crying unless his daddy held him. The first night home from the hospital we tried putting him in his crib several times, but he wasn't going to have any of that. He wanted to be with daddy, and there was no reasoning with him. If anyone in the entire apartment building was going to get some sleep, I was going to have to hold him through the night. I cradled him in my arms and sat on the couch with half a dozen pillows tucked in around us-- and that's where we stayed-- all night.

From the very first night God was telling me something. This is going to be hard. This is going to be uncomfortable. And, yes, your arms are going to fall asleep, and it hurts-- a lot. But, you're holding something precious in your hands. You're holding a human life. And this wrinkly little boy love you more than anything else in this world. He needs you, and only you, to be his dad. It is a great responsibility, and I'm giving this responsibility to you.

And now, fourteen years later, all I can say is. Thank you, God. Thank you for my children.

Regards,
John Michael Hileman

Starting a campaign in Borders

noreply@blogger.com (John Hileman) — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 01:34:00 +0000

From the desk of Christian Fantasy author John Michael Hileman

My lovely wife and I will be engaging in some friendly competition. This book display will start rolling out in Borders across the country, in a few short weeks. I'll keep you posted on the progress.

Climbing the charts

noreply@blogger.com (John Hileman) — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 00:47:00 +0000

From Christian Fantasy author John Michael Hileman.

Thanks to all of you, VRIN is now #2 on the Smashwords Fantasy Bestseller list, and #3 on the Bestseller list for the entire site(not bad for Christian Fantasy). This is a very exciting landmark. I thank you all for you diligent support.

If you've read the book, please leave a comment here on my blog. I would love to chat with you about it. Or, perhaps you would consider hopping over to smashwords.com and leaving a quick review. It would mean a great deal to me.

Grace and Peace

Reader reactions for VRIN: ten mortal gods

noreply@blogger.com (John Hileman) — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 20:02:00 +0000

“Absolutely fabulous! Suspenseful- Good plot- Good message.
Some books, you read once, then pass it along-
But this one is a keeper!
You get something new every time you read it.”
(Joni, age 50, homemaker/carpenter's assistant)

“It's a cool story. I liked the concept and the exploration
of who we are.” (Carl, age 47, Biochemical Researcher)

“I think it's pretty cool and awesome.
I've read up to chapter eight so far.” (Danika, age 11)

“Some parts I didn't understand ... But other parts-
I didn't want to put it down!” (Natalie, age 74, grandmother)

“For me there was no question, I HAD to finish the book.”
(Kate, age 22, artist)

“I started it and I couldn't put it down. I stayed up 'till 2:00AM to finish it.
He needs to write a second book soon!”
(Teisha, age 25, wife and mother)

“VRIN: ten mortal gods is a wonderful creation woven with
intriguing characters and thought provoking adventure ...
I have really enjoyed it.” (Merrianne, age 17)

“This is the first book I've enjoyed in a long time. The characters are vivid and strong. It's enticing- imaginative- riveting. Each chapter leaves me thirsty for the next one-- kind of like (the show) 24.”
(Ernie, age 55, manager of a mental health facility)

“I don't even like science fiction/fantasy, but once I started reading VRIN, I wanted to keep reading it 'till I was done. It was deep enough to really make me think ...
but not so deep that I couldn't understand it.
(Hope, age 31, homeschooling mom)

“I get annoyed when real world events pull me out of the world of VRIN.”
(Dean, age 37, web developer)

“... tremendously entertaining ... (VRIN has) intrigue, plot twists, and surprisingly new elements. This could easily be adapted to the big screen and would sell a lot of popcorn. War and Peace?- No! Good story line and fun to read?- Absolutely!”
(Adam, age 42, gentleman and avid reader)

I believe this will be the final cover

noreply@blogger.com (John Hileman) — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 02:51:00 +0000

Working on the elevator pitch

noreply@blogger.com (John Hileman) — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 01:13:00 +0000

Beyond our waking minds, past the infinite dark where only whispers
live, is a secret place of such unimaginable importance that God
Himself has hidden it from us. Until now.

Still searching for a cover

noreply@blogger.com (John Hileman) — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 01:08:00 +0000

Cover art can be polarizing. It amazes me how a tiny detail can turn a reader off, to the point of not even picking up the book to check it out. Well, I'm about to embark on a major promotion campaign, and I need a cover that sizzles. This is what I have so far.

A new cover?

noreply@blogger.com (John Hileman) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 18:35:00 +0000

I'm told this new cover will sell more books. Please give me your input. I am about to embark on a new media campaign, and I desperately need input on which cover will be more effective. Any and all opinions are greatly appreciated.

The short story: PRIDE

noreply@blogger.com (John Hileman) — Fri, 28 May 2010 19:58:00 +0000

It began with an irritation ... Although I could not look down, I knew she was there, sitting upon my mighty foot with impudence. I was Chi-ah-din, the destructor, emperor of the cosmos. There was no planet that did not fall within my empire. There was no man who had ever lived, or would ever live, who could match my strength and intellect. In my presence great men would tremble. The mere mention of my name built and destroyed worlds, yet there she sat, and I could not move her.

"I know you are sad," she would always begin.

And I would respond with my silence.

"But I will stay with you once again ..."

Then we would sit in the stillness, and the memories would begin.

***

I had everything... but I desired more. With cunning, I had acquired the most distinguished seat in the galactic parliament, and for a time, I found the peace I had desired. But things changed- as they tend to do. I became bored, and again my desire was set upon conquest. It was what fed my purpose, and a life without purpose, is a life wasted.

It was then I decided, I would not rest until the universe was mine- and I did not. I transformed the parliament into a tool of war, whose generals were weapons in my hand. Galaxy after galaxy fell before me, and with each victory my sense of purpose, and my lust for activity, was satisfied.

As time continued, so did my reach, but to soon I had come to the end of my years. My life was approaching its close, and I had not reached my goal. Though worlds lay behind me in ruin, there were countless stars left untamed.

I can remember the moment when the thought had come to me for the first time. I stood, admiring my capital city from its tallest spire. The men and women sitting behind me, waited patiently for my decision. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I can even remember the imperfections in the glass- yes, imperfections- the word floated in my mind.

"You have a heavy heart," came a tiny voice from below.

My consciousness returned to the present. It was the little girl who had spoken. It was her way to not waste words- and for that I was grateful, for her words were like a dagger in my chest, and her innocence- her pure innocence, was a reminder of my imperfection. There was another flash of memory and soon the little girl, and the lush green park that surrounded us melted away, and I was once again amongst my thoughts.

Ah yes... Imperfections... the glass was the finest in the universe- crafted by the most talent practitioners of the art, yet there they were- imperfections. I turned to my cabinet: generals, statesmen, trusted advisers, and that is when I gave the thought reality. I would loose my imperfections, and replace them with perfection. The decision I made that day was not the one they were expecting, and there was peace in the universe for a time.

Years passed as I worked in private. Parts were shipped in from every corner of the galaxy. Some very rare, and expensive, but cost did not matter to me. I called upon the genius of a thousand worlds, but no one knew the extent of my purpose.

When I was finished, I admired my creation. Its cold exoskeleton was frightening to behold. Standing twenty four feet in height, it loomed above me in its hibernation chamber, its neural pathways silent.

I would live on, and there would be no end to my reign. Century after century would pass, and I would give the universe a new birth. I would create it again in my image.

The matrix came alive with energy and color. I looked around the lab and took in my last mortal breath. It was done...

"AHHHHHHH!!!! Too much. Too much- information." My mind reached out into its new home, and as each positronic neuron fired, I was aware of it. I was aware of everything. Every muscle that twitched, every pulse that surged. It was too much. The colossal beast crashed to the floor, and was still.

The colors came to me at last. Was this consciousness? I knew the color, but I did not sense it. It was a calculated perception. The complex processor in my head began to sort and place them, and a picture began to form. At first two dimensions, then the third. Was that a shoe? Distance: two meters- my mind told me.

"It must be lonely in there," said the little girl, as she sat kicking the heels of her tiny black shoes against the front of my armored foot.

Again my response was silence.

"Has it always been that way?" she asked.

No, I thought- It had not always been that way.

Her name was Meriem, hair like golden waterfalls, eyes like liquid moons. She carried herself with grace, as a lady should, yet there was a side that allowed for indulgence. I took a shine to her for a time, and there was happiness, but I could not be held back, and her love was not strong enough to keep me. My drive for power was too great, and it wasn't long before the strain had taken its toll.

"Yes... I think you are lonely." came the voice of my unwanted guest.

What did she know of loneliness? I had simply not had time for such indulgences. Another memory filled my consciousness.

I stood before the threshold of my greatest victory- the planet Steeth. I led my forces across the surface of the burnt rock, my blade cutting down soldiers ten at a time. I was war incarnate. With this last victory I would, at last, control the known universe. My lust for power was nearing its completion. The universe was my footstool, and God himself could not oppose me. Everything was in my grasp- and then it happened.

The sky grew dark, controlled by a force unseen. A hush fell on the battlefield, as every soldier looked to the forming clouds. The air smelt of electricity, and the wind shifted in chaotic apprehension. My anger engulfed me. I had no time for this distraction. In one motion my waste pivoted and my synthetic muscles flexed. My sword rose high into the sky and my grasp tightened around its hilt. I would not be detained from my prize...

I will remember that instant for an eternity, for an eternity is how long I have left to remember it. The sky opened and an energy stream shot down, biting into my metal skin. And the world became dark for a time.

When I was again aware of the things around me, the battlefield was empty. The ground was blackened, and there was no life left to be seen. I was completely alone. What's more, I was completely still. The energy burst had left me immobile. My deadly sword hovered in the air above me, but it would never fall again. There was no power to move it. All that was left was my secondary power cell, which made a wearing sound at the back of my neck. This is what kept my positronic circuits alive, this is what kept me- alive. And for centuries, I longed for death.

How many centuries had passed now, I did not know? How long I had remained here, imprisoned in this body of my own construction, was also a mystery? I had seen cities rise and fall around me, and time itself was my punishment. What I had considered a strength was now my bane. I could remember in detail everything I had ever done, every decision I had ever made, and every life I had ever taken

"Did you find what you were searching for?" came the voice of my hidden companion. As was her way, her statement was short, yet it held a universe of implications. I could not remember what it was that I had sought after. With each victory came a jubilant pride, but as the victories increased this too did not satisfy me. So what was it I had sought after? I could not remember. After a time, I continued on because it was all I knew. Countless lives lost, and still I pushed on.

I had squandered my existence, and so I MUST remember... that was my penance. I must remember every selfish thought, every wasted deed. Had I completed my task, what would I have accomplished? Would I have just become complacent as emperor of the universe? Would my fair jewel have lost its luster? What difference did it make? I had lost everything. My soul would never depart this metal cell, and I would remain here till the end of time enduring the shadows of my past.

"I forgive you..." she whispered.

Her words floated up to me, and they contained the peace I had longed for these many centuries. Suddenly, a part of me was awakened; that part of me that was once human. The part which contained the very essence of my mortality stirred once more. I could no longer feel that familiar power I once knew, that strong shell I had called my home for so many centuries. I looked upon the scene of a young girl standing beneath a towering monster- or was it?

The creature looked like a mighty knight, his sword raised above his head, his eyes cold and lifeless. Every jagged point of his armor made for destruction. She stood there, her tiny hand resting on his massive boot, and the humming ceased ...

The little girl looked up at me as if, somehow, she knew I was there. A single tear ran down her tender cheek, and a smile formed on her lips.

It ended with two words.

"goodbye" said she.

"goodbye" said I.

-------------------------------------------------------
John Michael Hileman is an Author, Television Producer, and Columnist
His novel VRIN: Ten Mortal Gods is available where books are sold.

Why write?

noreply@blogger.com (John Hileman) — Tue, 11 May 2010 02:06:00 +0000

First off, I am a story teller, not a writer. My wife is the writer. She understands the subtle art of syntax and punctuation, whilst I am a weaver of words. I breath life into my protagonist and ask him or her what they want to do next, and we take the journey together. Oftentimes to an unexpected end.

This blog is not unlike the aforementioned protagonist, in that I have no idea where it will go, and I look forward to where the journey shall take us.